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Public Speaking Course: 

Malaprops

A malaprop is a term defined as an absurd misuse of words. You might wonder why you would include malaprops during your presentation. Wouldn't that be confusing for your audience? In your public speaking course you will see better how to incorporate malaprops into your presentation.

Some malaprops can be from words that sound alike (sadistic and statistic) or from explanations that just don't make any sense. With what you learned in your public speaking course, you can use these on purpose as a humor technique during your presentation.

Consider some of the classic examples below:

Casey Stengel:
I want you all to line up in alphabetical order according to your size.
I guess I'll have to start from scraps.
If people don't want to come to the ballpark, nobody can stop them.
It's déjà vu all over again.

Goldwynisms:
In the 1940s the movie mogul Sam Goldwyn misused language so much that malaprops became known as Goldwynisms.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named William.
For your information, I would like to ask a question.
Now, gentlemen, listen slowly.
In two words: im-possible!
Include me out.
I read part of it all the way through.
I never liked him and I probably always will.

Your public speaking course teaches you how to effectively use malaprops to catch the audience's attention.

The great comedian Norm Crosby, who is best known for appreciating "standing ovulations" when he performed,  made a living out of the ingenious misuse of words. In real life though, malaprops are usually uttered by people who don't even realize their "fox paws".

A friend of mine who is a fund-raiser for a stuffy Washington, D.C., art society, told me of a completely hilarious incident that took place during a meeting. The boring director stood at the conference table in an effort to put an out-of-control meeting back on track and said, 'I fear our discussions are tangenital to the issues at hand.' TANGENITAL! Can you believe it?

My friend looked around at everyone to see they were all fighting back laughter. She had to excuse herself from the meeting to keep from laughing right in the face of the old windbag.

A flexible public speaker who was truly in touch would have:
- realized her mistake,
- laughed at herself, and
- used that unplanned comic relief to get everyone's attention
- so that she could regain control of the meeting.

Now a professional speaker could make the mistake on purpose just to get a laugh from the audience.
I have learned in my years of writing comedy skits, that many times the mistakes are much funnier than the planned program. Now I 'plan' mistakes when it is appropriate. I learned that when I plan something and then I mess up the plan, the plan becomes funnier than the plan I planned to use, so now I plan to mess up the plan so the plan is planned to be funnier than a plan that is not planned to be messed up. Did you get that? Good, because you need to hear loud and clear what I'm writing here so you bunglestand it.

Malaprops can be used just for fun or to grab attention while making an important point. Take for example Sam Goldwyn's classic, 'A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.' I don't know if Sam said this one on purpose or not. I wasn't around in the 1940s to ask him. I do know that the message is clear and has stood the test of time. If he had simply said, 'Contracts should be in writing' who would remember?

When using  malaprops in your speech make sure it is obvious, or your audience may think you are not too bright. If you do get caught in an accidental misusage of your words, you MUST acknowledge your mistake. If you don't, you will completely lose your audience who will be thinking about your mistake for several minutes after. They will also note that you are trying to be an absolutely perfect robot that couldn't possibly make a mistake, or they will think tat you didn't even notice it. This will turn them off and make communication extremely difficult.
All you have to do to acknowledge your mistake is to refer to a quotation from Mark Twain and turn it on yourself. Say a self-effacing humorous prepared ad-lib: "If Mark Twain can spell a word in more than one way, I should be able to say a wrong word at the right time." Or the right word at the wrong time? 

If you don't like that one, make-up an ad-lib on your own. To make effective presentations, you must appear human to those you speak to. Humans make mistakes. That's part of life. And part of using what you learned in your public speaking course is to when you make a mistake to use it to your advantage, to connect with your audience.

As Archie Bunker says, 'Case closed, ipso fatso.'

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