Public Speaking Course:
My public speaking course shows you how you can use definitions that give the audience a quick, comical twist on a word they already know.
Just be sure that the word defined is relevant to the point you are
trying to make to the audience.
Here are some funny definitions that I like:
Banker: A fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. ~~ Mark Twain (with
a similar quotation by Robert Frost).
Just make sure you know your audience well before using any comical
definition. You wouldn't use this one
if you were talking to bankers, but if you are a banker talking to nonbankers
you could change it to read like this:
"Some people say that a banker is a person who lends you his umbrella
when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
As a banker, I want you to know that is not true. I would lend you my
umbrella anytime at X percent above prime with two points.
(Possible extender line) If you want to borrow MONEY, that's a different
City Life: Millions of people being lonely together. ~~ Henry David
A man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits. ~~ Woodrow Wilson
A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. ~~ Elbert Hubbard
A man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. ~~
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Death: To stop sinning suddenly. ~~ Elbert Hubbard
Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. ~~
Radical: A man with both feet planted firmly in the air. ~~ Franklin
Song: The licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or
sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech. ~~ Oliver Herford
Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.
~~ Oliver Herford
There are tons of these definitions available in comedy books,
quotation books, and books for professional public speakers. In many
cases you will have several choices from many different topics. I
probably had at least 20 choices on the subject of conservatism alone,
and liberals are a laugh a minute. (just joking) Using definitions to
add humor to your presentations is a good skill taught from my public